Self-esteem and Self-efficacy and How to Build Each One

Self-Esteem and Self-Efficacy – The Link With Building Your Mental Health

The following ‘self’ words are all important in contributing to a growing positive wellbeing and identity – The foundations for life.

When you work on your self-esteem and self-efficacy, you are building your socio-emotional wellbeing, that is, your mental health. This all contributes to developing your self-concept– an accurate self-concept.

BUT HOW???? Continue reading…


~ Feelings of self-worth and self-value. 

~ An overall evaluation of oneself. 

~ High self-esteem is having a good self image. Ie. self-esteem is like a mirror where you see your own qualities. 

~ Low self-esteem is not realising your potential, which translates to poor self-confidence.

REFLECT… When you look through the mirror, what qualities do you see? 
REFLECT… Define  your potential? Have you lived up to your potential? What can you do to see your potential being realised?
What you can do to build your self-esteem 

~ Limit negative self-talk, self-criticism and labels. 

~ Increase focus on strengths rather than weaknesses. 

~ Give yourself a break.

~ Practise saying ‘no’. 

~ Look after your physical health. 

REFLECT… Which one/s can you focus on today to build a positive self-esteem?
REFLECT… Which one/s can you use to help someone else build their self-esteem?

Orange needle on Master level on experience levels speedmeter


~ Belief in your capacity or competence to handle, perform and succeed at tasks. 

~ Self-efficacy varies from one situation/activity to another. 

~ It builds up as you go on learning and mastering different abilities in life. 

REFLECT… What tasks/situations/activities are you still growing in and learning? Which ones are you going to continue to work on?
REFLECT… Which situations/activities have you mastered? How can you use your mastery to help/support someone else?
What you can do to build your self-efficacy

~ Set some goals that are easier to achieve so you can develop confidence and the belief in your capabilities. 

~ Have other goals that will challenge and stretch you so you will develop your learning and grow in mastery. 

~ Avoid comparisons. Run your own race. Be proud of what you can do and what you have achieved.

REFLECT… What have you achieved thus far in your life – personal, professional?
REFLECT… What is one goal you can set for yourself that can bless someone else and their life?
Make your mental health a priority - unique vector hand drawn inspirational, positive quote for persons suffering from personality disorder and Awareness Month. Phrase for posters, t-shirts, wall art.
Improve your mental health as you focus on building your socio-emotional wellbeing. 
To shape a confident IDENTITY, you need to…
Build your EMOTIONAL WELLBEING, through developing a high…
Self-esteem + self-efficacy = Accurate self-concept

Click here (Part 1 and Part 2) to read more about the importance of building your self-concept and how you can improve your mental health through developing your self-concept.

At ACTVoices we can help you with your self-esteem and self-efficacy. As you grow in these two areas, you are building your self-concept – an accurate self concept. Contact Us now. 



Grow In A ‘Learning Community’ Part 1

Build Your Self Concept and Improve Your Mental Health – Collaboration

Community concept - pictogram showing figures happy family

Improve your mental health as you focus on building your socio-emotional wellbeing, which includes developing your self-concept. Self-esteem and self-efficacy are just the foundations. You can actively improve your mental health by growing in a ‘learning community’.

Self-esteem + self-efficacy = Accurate self-concept

What is your self concept? 

~ A combo of self-esteem and self-efficacy. 

~ Belief about yourself. 

~ A factual description of how you perceive yourself, whether it may be true or not. 

~ If your perception is distorted, this description may not be an accurate depiction of you, but it IS an accurate statement of what you believe about yourself.

REFLECT… Write down your perceptions of yourself.
REFLECT… Now write down a factual description of yourself.

Color handprint background concept, human hand print illustration for kid education, school learning or diverse community help. EPS10 vector.

Grow in your ‘learning community’. 

What you can do to build your self-concept

To grow in a ‘learning community’ work on 2 major skills… 

~ Collaboration. 

~ Reflective practice.


Macro photo of tooth wheel mechanism with COLLABORATION, EXCHANGE, TRUST, ASSIST, GOAL, SUCCESS and INSPIRATION concept words

To develop your self concept, COLLABORATE! 

Build and grow in a ‘learning community’. 

You can’t grow alone, so gather people around you to learn from and who can pour into your life. They also need your wisdom and life experiences, and so you can fill them up. 

REFLECT… Who will you include in your ‘community’? Who will you exclude from your ‘community?
Building a ‘learning community’ includes 4 ingredients… 

Grunge black encourage word round rubber seal stamp on white background1. Encouraging, supporting and being there for each other. 

To be there for your family includes encouraging, supporting and being there for one another to help each other learn, develop, and grow. To be there for your ‘community’, who is also learning and growing with you also entails encouraging, supporting, and being present for each other. 

REFLECT… As I asked before, who will you exclude from your ‘learning community’? This is an important question that you need to clarify so you can learn more, develop wider and grow further.

Feedback Constructive Insightful Actionable Puzzle 3d Illustration2. Engaging in honest and constructive feedback. 

You need people in your life to be honest with you. To tell you what you don’t want to hear to help you grow. To give you reflective insights about your life to help you self-reflect, and change things in your life. 

REFLECT… What honest feedback can you give yourself?
REFLECT… What feedback can you give someone in your ‘learning community’ to help them develop in their skills – to grow in some area of their life? 
As you do this, you will help each other develop accurate beliefs about yourselves (ie. your self-concept).

Business Team Success, Achievement Concept. Flat People Characters with Prize, Golden Cup. Office Workers Celebrating with Big Trophy. Vector illustration3. Celebrating success in its many forms – small and big wins, stepping stones and just each other. 

Just as we celebrate children’s birthdays, performances or participation in concerts, when they win a competition, when they get the award for being the best helper and the award for the highest marks, we need to celebrate the people in our ‘community’ and celebrate together with them.

We need to celebrate the people in our ‘learning community’ and celebrate with themDon’t forget to celebrate each other… just because! 

Do you really need to have a reason? 

But, if you do need a reason, then celebrate… 

~ The successful performance, engagement and participation on that last outing or work meeting. 

~ The routine that you got through without screaming, crying, getting angry. 

~ Being on time. Getting things done on time. 

~ The new promotion, job, home. 

Whatever is worth being celebrated, big or small… share it with your ‘community’. Let them share in your joy.

REFLECT… When was the last time you celebrated someone or something with your ‘community’? Isn’t it about time you celebrated yourself and/or others for the big and small things you have achieved? When will you start?
REFLECT… Remember, your ‘community of learners’ does not include your children. It is your ‘learning community’ where you and others learn from, support and help each other; and grow and CELEBRATE one another… together.

Handwriting text writing Don t not Compare Yourself To Others. Concept meaning Be your own version unique original Megaphone loudspeaker screaming turquoise background frame speech bubble.
. Avoiding comparisons.

Each person comes with their own gifts, talents and character traits that bring with it amazing results and influence, whether big or small, and leaves short and long term effects. You don’t need to compare yourself to others because you were made for different plans and purposes in life.

REFLECT… The last point in building your ‘learning community’. Comparison can be a killer. A killer of joy, perspective, reality. Make sure, you stay joyful, maintain the right and correct perspective and reality, not a distorted perception of yourself or your achievements.

You may look the same, do the same things, have the same goals. BUT… each of you have been made for different plans and purposes. Run your own race and run it with all your heart! Remember, it’s not how much, how high, how long… it’s the heart and how much of your heart you have put into what you do.

REFLECT… Don’t get side tracked from your goals, plans and purposes by looking left and right at what others are doing, have achieved or are pursuing. Keep looking ahead and continue to work towards your goals, plans and purposes.

“Comparison is the thief of joy and the stretcher of truth. Comparison says, “I am ill-equipped for the task at hand.” The truth is God has given me everything I need for the plans he has set before me”. (Unknown source/author).

REFLECT… Keep your joy and peace by minding your own business. What I mean is, looking after and ‘minding’/taking care of your own life, goals, plans.
Don’t mind the ‘business’ of what another person is doing, has done, looks like etc. Avoid comparing yourself.

As we find our confidence in other people’s approval rather than finding it in God, we are comparing ourselves. “God created us all for a distinct purpose. When we have confidence in our God-given purpose we don’t feel the need to compare ourselves to others or seek their approval”. (Unknown source/author).

REFLECT… Do I need to add anymore? Except to say, remember, don’t compare yourself to others. When you don’t compare then you are building an accurate self concept that will lead to a better, more positive mental health.

Paper doll people holding hands

Remember, to develop your self concept grow in your ‘learning community’. 

To do this, work on 2 major skills…

~ Collaboration: Is about building and growing in your ‘learning community’. 

~ Reflective practice: Is about maintaining the growth of the ‘community’ and growing further through reflection.

To read about this second major skill, click here


Grow In A ‘Learning Community’ Part 2

Build Your Self Concept and Improve Your Mental Health – Reflective Practice

Creative business team stacking hands together in office

Remember, to develop your self concept grow in your ‘learning community’. To do this, work on 2 major skills…

~ Collaboration: Is about growing in your ‘learning community’. (To read about this again, click here)

~ Reflective practice: Is about maintaining the growth of the ‘community’ and growing further through reflection.


Grow in your ‘learning community’. 

Paper people on the grey wooden background

In this post, we look at the second way to grow in your ‘learning community’ that will help you build an accurate self-concept, which helps improve your mental health.

You can’t grow alone, so gather people around you to learn from and who can pour into your life. They also need your wisdom and life experiences, and so you can fill them up. 

REFLECT word written on wooden

To develop your self concept, engage in REFLECTIVE PRACTICE

This incorporates holistic reflection, and includes both self-reflection and collaborative reflection.

Business Concept writing SELF REFLECTION on Blackboard SELF-REFLECTION

Reflecting by yourself, about yourself

AND a specific environment. 

AND the people affected or involved.

Concept of sharing skills to find a solution, with two men face to face who collaborate to find an idea.COLLABORATIVE RELFECTION

 Reflecting together with the people in your ‘learning community’ about yourself.

AND a specific environment. 

AND the people affected or involved.

Building a ‘learning community’ through reflective practice includes reflecting on yourself AND the environment AND others in combination with each other. 

Holistic reflection is important because people AND the environment AND others affected or involved are INTERRELATED and each has an effect on the other. One area alone cannot be interpreted or changed without having an influence on another area. Thus, you need to reflect alone and with others, so you can take the perspective of and understand all 3 areas.


*To develop your self concept, engage in REFLECTIVE PRACTICE!

This includes, HOLISTIC REFLECTION. Holistic reflection is important because you AND the environment AND others affected/involved are INTERRELATED and each has an effect on the other.

One area alone cannot be interpreted or changed without having an influence on another area.

Thus, you need to reflect alone and with others, so you can take the perspective of and understand all 3 areas.


*When you engage in holistic reflection, you will get transformational change.

This includes… ~Changing the culture of the setting (e.g. home, work).

~Influencing, pervading, and positively transforming every area.

It is a change that… ~ Is long lasting. ~ Takes place over a period of time. >>>>So, how do you get transformational change?


*To get transformational change and develop your self concept,

Engage in holistic reflection through SELF REFLECTION AND COLLABORATIVE REFLECTION

To facilitate any kind of change: observe, interpret and reflect .


Man's hand with concept of new or next normal digital transform in industry business, disrupt from coronavirus, covid crisis impact to small business or SME. Turn to next normal in financial concept.


When you engage in holistic reflection, you will get transformational change.



Holistic reflection of you…

AND the environment. (E.g., the work/classroom/home environment).

AND the people affected or involved in your life, your ‘learning community’ and/or in that particular environment .

To facilitate any kind of change: observe, interpret and reflect .

Reflection… observe, interpret and reflect.


~ Enable you to look back, reassess and understand actions, words and behaviour.

~ Identify ways to improve and how to do it differently.

~ Provide clarity, new perspectives and possibilities for the future.

REFLECT…What do You Want to Change words letter, written on paper, work desk top view. Motivational business typography quotes concept


Aspects of your environment?

Culture, interactions in your enviro?


When you reflect (self and collaborative), you are initiating and inspiring transformational change.

This results in changing the setting’s (e.g., home/work) culture. In doing so, influencing, pervading, and positively transforming every area including you AND the environment AND other people.

It is a change that is long lasting and takes place over a period of time.

Transformational change allows for personal growth. Growth that will empower you. Empowerment to use your ‘voice’ and have your ‘voice’ heard. Empowerment to overcome challenges encountered with more skill and knowledge.

Developing relationship concept: Construction machines building up with letters the word relationship, isolated on white background.

If you want to change things, change people, change you THEN… focus on relationships. Relationships with children, with colleagues with families/carers, with people in your ‘learning community’. 

Form genuine relationships built on sincerity, respect, kindness and care, and the door is open for change to occur.

REFLECT… Which relationships are important to you? Why?
REFLECT… Which relationships do you want to change? What changes do you want to see?
REFLECT… Do you need to change? Or does the other person need to change? Or do both of you need to change?

merger icon, illustration, concept vector template Teachers AND children have an impact on each other, as does parents/carers AND children. 

ALSO the environment (emotional, organisational and physical) have an impact on teachers/children, as well as parents/children. 

So, if you change any one of these areas it will have an effect on the other.

REFLECT… What do you want? What do you want to change? 

Once you have clarified what you want and what you want to change, then you can seek help, support and information. Then you will see change start to occur.

REFLECT… Observe, interpret, reflect on each of the 3 areas and their interaction with one another.

How do you, the environment, and the people affected or involved interact with each other?

~ THEN make changes in one area, and observe the changes, interpret, and reflect how it is impacting on the other 2 areas.

~ THEN take the perspective of another area AND ‘observe-interpret-reflect’ again.

~ Repeat the process with the 3rd area. 


Are You In Lockdown or Close To It?

Connect and Reflect – Moving On From Fear

Nothing is wrong with the feelings you are experiencing, but you can be active in these paralysing times. One way is to act – connect and reflect, and you can get through it as you walk alongside others.

Are you worrying and feeling that you are losing control of what you use to be in control of? Do you want to gain back control, but one of the ways you have used that give you back some control is to shop – shop for groceries, toilet paper and anything online that catches your eye?

Do you then feel a short-term burst of control, and then felt like all you’ve done so far ended up bringing you back to how you felt in the beginning?

Or, do you then feel guilty for the money you’ve spent or the useless things that ended up wasting your money?

What strategies do you have to support you during these times?

– Netfix, your electronic devices, your pets.

– Relaxation techniques, yoga, exercise, mindfulness.

– Resilience, emotional intelligence.

Yes, the above are all great and important in helping you deal with present feelings of fear, anxiety and stress and being proactive and equipping you with skills for the future.

However, what is missing in most of the advice presented online is the importance of people – people supporting people – human interaction. Alright, we might not be able to meet each other because of social distancing, self-isolation, or even quarantine, but interaction in the sense of focusing on one another, looking and listening to each other, and sharing an experience or discussion together is vital during these times.

Talking and connecting is the best medicine during these times. Talking to someone allows you to share your heart and what’s going on for you – your fears, troubles, worries. Talking also allows you to regain perspective as you reflect on what is really going on underneath all your feelings and actions you’ve been going through.

Of course there are electronic ways to connect and interact with each other: phone or  video calling, email and social media.

But, these are times you can strengthen the relationships and interactions within your household:

– Games night – board games or the like and outdoor games with the kids or without the kids.

-Date nights between partners.

– Doing the chores together rather than assigning different chores or forcing different members of the house to do it. Yes, you have to get things done, but quality of the interaction during those times is more important than how much you get done. When you do things together and work as a team or community in your household it enriches your relationships and strengthens your bond with one another.

– Down-time from electronic devices and focussing on one another. Set aside time every day at routine times of the day to just engage and have a chat. In particular, during meal times and before day/night time sleep with your children.


If you don’t know or can’t find anyone who can be your system of support at this time, then please please contact me. I would love to be there for you.


© Tirzah Lim 2017